disappointed.

Sometimes I don't think I am strong enough to handle my emotions. 

vulnerable.

although i trust you,
i can't hide the truth of being afraid.

fragile in every sense of the word,
while every moment i spend i find myself more vulnerable.

if one day i am able to find the words,
or allow myself to fall,

i know it will be worth it.

summertime.

Some things I'd like to do this summer:

- See a comedian.

- Go to the fair.

- Ride in a hot air balloon.

- Eat out at new restaurants.

- Plan a road trip, using maps.

- Go to concerts.

- Visit the zoo, animal park, Sea World and the aquarium.

- Go to Six Flags.

- Plan a camping trip and admire the stars.

- Have a picnic on the beach.

kindness.

is it possible to be too kind? would something like that make someone run away?

I am starting to wonder..

pieces.

You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, even months analyzing a situation. Trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, should've, or would've happened. Or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on. -Tupac

sensual.

The Sensual Woman - The Herbaliser

To become aware of my own sensuality,
I first become fully aware of my own tactile sense.
In dim light, I close my eyes and remove my clothes.

Do I lose his respect for being so wild?
Hardly. He treats me like a rare and precious jewel.
And he goes through the day proud of the fact, that with me,
He is the world's most imaginative lover.

Men pick amazing places for sexual adventure.
The wildest adventure proposed to me was in a bathtub which was full of Jello!
All I could think of, was how many boxes it would take?
What would be the most alluring color?
The most delicious flavor?
And how could that affect our oral explorations?
If the Jello gets firm, would I bounce?

As you look around for what's new and different,
Remember these three important weapons that should be learned to keep a man in love.
Imagination, sensitivity to his moods and desires,
And the courage to experiment with new sexual techniques,
Enticing situations and places.

Lovemaking is physical, and so its its language.
Suck, cock, fuck, and prick, are not bad words.
Used in the bedroom by lovers to describe parts of the body,
And physical activities,
They are very proper indeed, and they distinctly enhance sex.
Overhaul a prudish attitude.
Don't whistle and stick up your nose, at least, not up in the air.

attacked.

what is most important;

doing the right thing

or

giving in to protect yourself?

artistes.

You don't know me I am an introvert an excavator I'm duckin' out for now a face in dodgy elevators.

strangest.

bad.

I should change my blog title to "How to lose friends and alienate people."

Big sad face. 

theend.

bonds.

Why do I find it so hard to let myself get close to anyone?

If I ever stop pushing people away I may be able to answer that.

passion.

What is passion? I was thinking about this question today. It may sound like a simple question, although I am initially inclined to start rattling off the THINGS that I am passionate about (i.e. food, music, health, knowledge and finding the beauty in ordinary things).  However I want to focus for a minute on where this beautiful thing comes from, on a deeper level. 

To start off this journey through my mind I will begin with a definition from Websters.   That always helps to get a better understanding of things.

  a : the emotions as distinguished from reason
  b : intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction
  c : an outbreak of anger
  a : ardent affection : love
  b : a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept
  c : sexual desire d : an object of desire or deep interest

I highlighted a few words that stood out to me.  Passion itself is such a huge concept full of human emotion, in fact would it be fair to say that passion actually makes us human?

That question brings me to something else that has occurred to me. Passion for anything at all is a vital part of human existence, if not existence then certainly happiness.  Lack of passion in life is a fast track to deterioration.

I feel like this is something I need to sleep on and I will get back to as soon as I can!

Lastly, my surgery is tomorrow morning and I hope it is painless.

commotion.

"she said its like cycling in circles 
with your eyes closed
no hands blind faith is what she called it man
said life's an ocean with a lot of commotion
once you dive in, yeah it's deep

but if you can swim it ain't mattering."

- Living Legends

necessary.

"It’s in my best interest to
have the best interests of the planet in mind. It’s
one thing to be the greatest; it’s another thing to
be necessary, and that’s the aim for me. The best are the most necessary:
those who take less than they give and love more than they hate"

--- Mos Def