Vipassana

"I don't control life but I control how I react to it."

-Macklemore

changes

Why do people grow apart?

closeness

I have a fear for the declining significance of human relationships. I feel that technology is taking away from actual emotions.

Bonds seem to be less authentic and more frivolous. (Solitude and intellectualism is a completely different topic --
Being in my youth I also find importance in knowing my soul).

However. I yearn for friendships and bonds, interactions with others that push me to my limits.
My biggest desire is stimulation of my mind. Question my beliefs. Make me wonder, imagine, strive to better myself.



Awaken my mind.

dancing.

The dancers on my stage.

They make pretty entrances.

Shamelessly, they show off their pirouettes and bow to the front of the stage. 

I applause, giving a standing ovation watching quietly as they rush off stage.

They must be in a hurry for the next audition.

beach.

I will never take for granted life in San Diego.

I don't care to leave either.

Don't get me wrong, I do have unprecedented dreams of travel.

power.

It may be overrated to say so but the world truly works in strange ways.

I am beginning to realize more and more that I am the master of my negative emotions.  Controlled, I can accomplish and achieve more than I can possibly fathom.

forget.

Do I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?

tears.

Is it okay for me to be mad at you World?

If not, then may I ask for permission to feel sorry for myself?

Neither?

Ok then I shall press on.

pleasure.

"Here they teach that much of existence amounts only to misery; that misery is caused by desire; therefore, if desire is eliminated, then misery will be eliminated. Now, that is true enough, as far as it goes. There is plenty of misery in the world, all right, but there is ample pleasure, as well. If a person forswears pleasure in order to avoid misery, what has he gained? A life with neither misery nor pleasure is an empty, neutral existence.  To actively seek nothingness is worse than defeat; it is surrender; craven, chickenhearted, dishonorable surrender."

Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume. pg 96

friends.

Some people have friends.

Some people have good friends.

If you are lucky enough, you might even have a best friend.

Now let us briefly examine the phrase "best friend."

Anyone lucky enough to have a friend like mine can most likely relate to what I am saying.  Personally, my best friend knows me better than I know myself.  My best friend laughs because she knows exactly what is going through my head at any given time.  I am fortunate to know someone whom I could  spend hours doing absolutely nothing with, yet somehow have fun along the way. 

True friends are rare. I love my best friend  and she knows it; that is what matters to me.  Knowing she is happy bring me joy, and I say that with the utmost sincerity.

Friendship is quite a beautiful bond which I am genuinely grateful to have. 

"Friendship is one mind in two bodies."- Mencius  

natural.

Exercise seems to have an effect on your emotional reaction to stress. It does this by altering your mood. Fit people are usually in high spirits after a lengthy exercise, sometimes to the point of elation or joy. This feeling is associated with the presence of endorphins, which are released by the pituitary gland in the brain. 

The word "endorphin" is a combination of "endo" and "morphine" -- meaning endogenously produced morphine, or internally produced painkiller. Endorphins are the body's natural pain reliever. It may be that the brain interprets exercise as a form of "pain" or it may be that the rise in fatty acids caused by long, gentle exercise acidifies the blood, which triggers the release of endorphins. 

In any case, you can get from exercise a natural high, similar to a drug high but with none of the bad side effects. People who do long, continuous, gentle exercise enjoy the most effective stress therapy known to man.

soul.

In many religions and parts of philosophy, the soul is the immaterial part of a person. It is usually thought to consist of one's thoughts and personality, and can be synonymous with the spirit, mind or self.  In theology, the soul is often believed to live on after the person’s death, and some religions posit that God creates souls. In some cultures, non-human living things, and sometimes inanimate objects are said to have souls, a belief known as animism.

The terms soul and spirit are often used interchangeably, although the former may be viewed as a more worldly and less transcendent aspect of a person than the latter.  The words soul and psyche can also be treated synonymously, although psyche has relatively more physical connotations, whereas soul is connected more closely to metaphysics and religion.

magic.

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.”

- Roald Dahl

break.

Big hearts break easy.

escape.

Theres no outlet quite like music.

bluebird.

When i walked up all you caught was the shade of my hat on my face

my ways are in pain, from the strain of my ways
chains engraved in my physical days, in physical waves i get physical strength from my individual ways
meanwhile I'm not fulfilled, this feeling shall not be stilled
rewind time and rewrite lines for the kinds of you to feel
docile if you so will, fragile and you go downhill
drinking wine, forgetting time, now time to be refilled
they say if you snooze you loose
well i spend my days, dazed and confused
is it cause i blaze all day and fade, then that's old news
if it's new to you, this is Yarah rapping the blues
don't get used to it, running mascara i refuse
closed doors prevent outsiders from viewing
but struggling alone makes it tough for pursuing
dreams, but it seems all i get are sleepless nights
nightmares about losing loved ones and losing fights

The bluebird flew over the fields of sorrow
as i left the scene and the dream watching the souls wallow
left you for more, left the room hollow
many will fall, a lot more will fallow

you take drugs to psyche your mind
You take wine, to forget about time
you create a world of your own
where the truth, will never be known

I work when the work seems like play
and hate to play when the work seems to work my way, i say
i work my way through everyday that i play my way
now.. hear what i say, hear what i say
makes it all seem hopeless like impending cancellations
the locks will open someday continued determination
restless infection destroys spiritual vaccinations
and i will head for my destination
i stand alone at the crossroads of death inhale the breath
of lost souls that left in and out of counciousness
drinking wine reminds me of what honest is
making me wonder where the hell the logic is?
we're all lost, we're all tossed, at a lost cause
fight between ourselves, relieve ourselves, and then we all fall
through the wall, through it all, who we are?
no denying that at 5 foot i still stand tall

The bluebird flew over the fields of sorrow
as i left the scene and the dream watching the souls wallow
left you for more, left the room hollow
many will fall, a lot more will fallow

you take drugs to psyche your mind
You take wine, to forget about time
you create a world of your own
where the truth, will never be known

Many will fall
A lot more will follow
Follow

want.

Tropic Watercolor Bikini


Street Slasher Tunic

Graceful Drape Cami

Cascading Flowers Dress

Women's 'Bobby' - Fools Gold

beauty.

Chuck Palahniuk is an amazing satirist, I have become so fascinated with his work that I have read Fight Club, Rant, Snuff and Choke in the past month and a half.  I'm looking forward to picking up PYGMY this weekend as well.  I adore the way he describes every day things in an out-of-ordinary way.  I just love him for writing such crazy stories that relate to working-class people.  Anyways, this quote is from Fight Club, I have never seen the movie and I just finished the book today.  Come on, Edward Norton & Brad Pitt? I will be heading to Blockbuster very soon.

The rest of the images I find beautiful for certain reasons I don't feel the need to explain.

frenzy.

"boy, does she know how to twist a knife..."

farewell.

I am fully enjoying

perceiving.

Guts twist.
Disgust or desire?

Skin burns.
Definite or delusion?

Pulsing salty sweat.

Discontent.
Disconnect.

Defenseless.

failure.

Failure is one thing I'm good at.

Nothing to be proud of really.

simple.

Simple is the new extravagant.

time.

When morning comes I slip into my white dress.

I close my eyes and watch one day chase away the next.

Me, standing tall but silent, heart gently stirring.

The night creeps across the sky, my white dress surrenders to the dark.

Everyday passes yet nothing changes.

Though I can not see the stars from here I know they exist.

As I sit still, awaiting tomorrow.

men.

I don't want a catcher.  There is no skill involved in that.

I want a hunter.

quality.

Why am I such a lousy judge of character?

hope.

shame.

It's a shame to wait until tomorrow.